


Mischief Managed

by Nillegible



Series: Naruto Magic Week Fills [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Due to a Misunderstanding, Everyone is absolutely fine, Headmaster Tobirama, Hogwarts AU, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 21:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19449865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nillegible/pseuds/Nillegible
Summary: Being headmaster of Hogwarts is...trying, with so many bright students getting themselves into all manner of mischief and mayhem. Tobirama is more than equal to the task.For Naruto Magic Week!





	Mischief Managed

Tobirama lets them squirm a bit. He’s rounded up four of the five that he knows were involved in manufacturing the chaos of this morning. The last deliberately left free to contemplate the intelligence of aligning himself with these particular idiots. Tobirama will deal with Shisui later. For now, he continues to write his letter and ignore the children in front of him. Unfortunately, he can’t _finish_ the letter until he knows the results of this conversation so he sets his quill neatly to one side and pushes his letter away from him (Ostensibly so he can fold his arms on his desk without smudging the ink, but if it pushes his letter into their field of view, all the better.)

“Would you like to say anything?” he asks them mildly.

“It wasn’t us?” tries Tenzo. Tobirama raises an eyebrow. Genma looks like he wants to throw himself out the window.

“Kakashi,” he says, focusing on the sullen-looking sixth-year prefect. “You may begin.”

“They’re mostly charms, you can take them down with _finite_ ,” he says.

“I do not care _how_ you choose to remove the decorations. You may remove them with toothbrushes for all I care because the four of you will be the ones taking them down even if it takes you all night to do so. I want to know _why._ ”

More staring, but he’s willing to stare them down. “It was funny,” says Anko. “And we were bored.”

“Merlin forgive me, but if it was just you and your housemates, I would even believe you,” Tobirama tells her. “But you cannot convince me that you convinced two Hufflepuffs to put up the sort of cruel insults that I saw in the Great Hall.”

More fidgeting and staring, and finally bit by bit the story comes out.

The brats had wanted a holiday.

“Just something it would take time to fix so that classes would be cancelled,” Kakashi says finally admitting to their deeds. Tobirama wants to strangle them. He tries not to let it show on his face (the children are usually so afraid of him that they’re never reliable measures of if he’s being more frightening than usual, and he doesn't want to scar them). Really.

“Detention every day next week, charms classroom at seven. For now, you may start by cleaning everything up. Classes are canceled for the day for the others. Feel free to try to fix everything yourselves or recruit any of your co-conspirators to help you. I’d like it done by tonight. I will be writing to your parents and guardians. Anko, I doubt Professor Orochimaru will be happy with you. Tenzo, I will be telling Auror Hatake about your misbehavior as well as your guardians. You may all go.”

They’re quick to obey, stepping back and away when he remembers. “Oh, and send me Shisui, I need to see about his punishment as well,” says Tobirama.

It stops them in their tracks. “You can’t punish him alone!” says Kakashi, uncharacteristically venomous, and when he glances at the other faces Anko looks every bit as furious as the Hufflepuff. Genma looks considering and Tenzo looks confused, but Kakashi and Anko look like they’re considering gutting him, and.

Tobirama’s mind immediately goes to the worst possible place; Shisui's uncharacteristic silences of late taking on a whole new possible meaning. 

“ _Who’s been punishing Shisui alone_?” he asks sharply, and they look surprised and scared, eyes wide. He feels the sharp edge of magic rising in the air _sweet Hagoromo_ it can’t be true, how could he have overlooked something that vile, who else had been - and which of his staff could possibly be that-

“Professor _no,”_ says Anko, exasperated. “Shisui is fine no one did _that,_ ” she looks sheepish now and Kakashi shoots her an uncomprehending look. She grins though, and adds gleefully, “And if anyone even tried, I bet Professor Orochimaru would bring you their bloody _corpse_!”

He has to admit that was a fair assessment of the Potions Professor’s personality. And Tobirama would gladly help him dispose of the body, but these children don’t need to know that. Tobirama almost wants to place a hand over his heart to still the fast pounding, they had _genuinely_ frightened him.

He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. “So what did you mean, Kakashi?”

He still looks vaguely confused, but answers, “He’s already very worried about being friends with us and because his family thinks we’re a bad influence on him because he should be thinking of his future! And he looks up to you-” delivered with a truly innocent disbelief that Tobirama will laugh about in private, later, and far too involved in his little rant to see Genma making cut-it-out gestures, continuing, “- and he might just stop talking to us if you tell him that we’re - ” he stops midsentence when Anko pinches his elbow. A sharp knock on the door stops Tobirama from getting his fun because it opens to show a nervous-looking Shisui a moment later.

“I’m a little busy at the moment, Shisui. Could you wait?”

“No I. I helped them, Professor. So I should be punished, too.”

“How very fair of you. Come inside,” Tobirama says dryly and Shisui blushes but steps inside and closes the door behind him.

“Would you care to explain your part in today’s events?”

All five children pale considerably and Tobirama can see it dawn that they have had no time to corroborate their stories with Shisui, now that he’s in the room with them. He begins bravely anyway, “Um, I did the stairs-” there’s quick hushing and hissing from the others and he freezes, eyes wide.

These children, they give Tobirama a headache.

He doesn’t try too hard to keep the frustration out of his voice as he says, “I can’t decide if I should be more disappointed that you’re still lying and hiding things from me, or because you were foolish enough to plan this instead of just asking for a holiday. Do you know how long it would have taken for any one of you to just ask me or another professor over breakfast to postpone today’s classes? It’s not unprecedented.”

They’re all completely still, expressions hovering between nervous and terrified. If a holiday was even what this is about. Tobirama has no doubt that he’ll figure out what they were really up to. Eventually. He waves his hand at them, making a dismissive gesture. “Just go. Clean up everything you’ve done and tell anyone who helped you this morning to help you put things back. I’ll reschedule the classes to next Saturday, there will be official notices in the dormitories. Shisui will be included in your detentions, as will anyone else who wishes to confess. You may go.”

None of them move even as he picks up his quill and he raises an eyebrow at them. “Is there something else?”

“We’re sorry, Professor,” says Genma. He even looks suitably guilty, to Tobirama's secret amusement.

He nods. “I would hope you are. You can go now.” After a bit more fidgeting, they give in to their instincts and head for the door. “And Shisui,” he calls when the boy is closing the door.

“You may want to consider telling your friends who Madara is before they talk themselves into a hole they can’t dig themselves out from.”

A quick wave of his hand and the door slams, shutting out Shisui’s horrified, wide-eyed face.

Tobirama finds himself smiling at the closed door, incredulous at the nerve of his students. They're so amazingly bright, even if, as this incident showed, they were still prone to childhood idiocy. He had hoped to frighten the little terrors into better behavior, but he's not entirely convinced that he's succeeded. Maybe next time. 

\---

(“I know who Madara is, he’s Obito’s uncle, and your great-uncle,” says Kakashi, when they’re several corridors away.

“He’s Professor Tobirama’s _husband_ , you _complete idiot_ ,” says Genma with feeling.

“Oh, that explains much!” says Tenzo with an odd half-smile. The others share a quick look and decide _not_ to ask.)


End file.
